Helping pupils’ matter to one another
If classroom culture is partly “how we do things around here”, then pupils need repeated chances to experience themselves as part of that “we”. It is not enough for pupils to know that they matter to the teacher, important as that is. A stronger class community is built when pupils also begin to matter to one another.
This does not mean expecting every child to be close friends with every other child. It means designing ordinary classroom routines so that pupils notice one another, listen to one another, include one another and practise working with different classmates in safe, low-pressure ways.
Belonging is built through repeated experience
Children do not usually feel they belong because they have been told that they belong. They come to believe it through repeated experience: someone remembers what they said, someone makes space for them in a group, someone listens to their idea, someone helps them recover after a mistake.
For teachers, this means planning connection as deliberately as we plan curriculum content. The early weeks of term are a good time to build small routines that help pupils speak, listen, share attention and work with a wider range of classmates before the social demands of learning become more complex.
Use low-stakes activities with a clear purpose
Activities such as “This or That?”, paired questions, blind drawing, whisper drawing, simple team challenges, concentration games and carefully planned changes in seating can all help pupils practise being part of the class community. They work best when the teacher explains the purpose clearly: we are practising how to speak, listen, notice, include and learn with different people.
The activities do not need to be long or elaborate. In fact, short and repeated is often better. A two-minute paired question, a quick partner change or a five-minute cooperative challenge can be enough to give pupils one more experience of being noticed by someone beyond their usual friendship group.
Make inclusion teachable
Pupils often need adults to make the invisible parts of inclusion visible. Teachers can model and name small behaviours such as turning towards a partner, using someone’s name, asking a follow-up question, making sure everyone has a role, noticing when someone has been left out and repairing when a group has not worked well.
When these behaviours are taught explicitly, pupils are less dependent on confidence, popularity or existing friendship groups. The class becomes a place where more children can take part because the rules for taking part are clearer and more supported.
Use the class agreement as a living reference point
The class agreement should not sit separately from these activities. After a short connection activity, it can be powerful to ask: What helped us listen well? What helped people feel included? What made it easier to work with someone different? What would we want to do again next time?
These questions help pupils link the activity back to the classroom culture they are trying to build. Over time, the agreement becomes less like a list of rules and more like a shared memory of what the class has practised together.
What adults can do next
Build in short activities that help pupils work with different classmates.
Explain the purpose of these activities before pupils begin.
Teach and model the small behaviours that make inclusion possible.
Use the class agreement to reflect on how pupils listened, included and supported one another.
Notice pupils who may need extra support to manage unfamiliar partners, group work or social risk.
The aim is not to force friendships or make every activity sociable. The aim is to create enough safe, structured contact for pupils to experience that they have a place in the class, that other people have something to offer them and that they can contribute to the learning and belonging of others.
Handout 5: Low-stakes Activities to help pupils matter to one another. These activities are designed to help pupils get used to speaking, listening, noticing similarities and differences, and working with different classmates.
Copyright notice © Educational Psychology Services for Schools Ltd., 2026. Written by Dr Kathryn Gibb. You are welcome to use and share this blog and its accompanying resources within your school or setting, provided the source is acknowledged. Please do not sell, publish, adapt or reproduce the materials elsewhere without permission.
Disclaimer These ideas are offered as general guidance to support classroom culture and relationships. They are not intended to replace professional judgement, individual educational psychology advice, school policy, safeguarding procedures or advice from relevant specialists. If a pupil’s behaviour, wellbeing or safety is causing concern, staff should follow your school’s usual procedures and seek appropriate support.
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